Compensation

Deficit And Gain Part II: Compensation

(This is an expansion to the last topic that appeared on this blog, “Deficit And Gain.” I am attempting to really break open the idea of “scales” in people’s lives so that people may move beyond this idea and seize what is really beneficial to a person’s mind.)


Compensation occurs within humanity all the time. We all want to be good at something, and when we feel inadequate we try to focus on another skill or part of our lives. We compensate the most when we are comparing ourselves to others. Although the act of comparing ourselves to others is completely atypical it still doesn’t mean it is correct. I should not hold myself to another for comparison, but instead hold myself to examples of a healthy mind. When we compensate, another person is often our standard, and another person can be a greater or lesser model, meaning that it is unfair to compare ourselves to others. Compensation, therefore, is a negative thought and behavior.


Compensation And What It Is When Used On A Human Example

Compensation:

Def - Using something good that will balance something bad.


That is the most relevant short definition I can use to show you the meaning of the word as we are using it. Compensation follows that principle. We substitute bad with good in our life to balance some sort of proverbial scale that is not unlike the concept of karma. Compensation, though, has a thorough flaw. Compensation is only valid when there is something missing in a person's life. Should we compensate in our lives, minds, or interpersonal  relationships? Never, but that doesn’t stop us from doing it. One common example is when people go looking for a “rebound” after a relationship ends. Another example is when people who retire attempt to find hobbies or even seek a second career. People who excel at one thing will inevitably be gifted in that area of their life and not gifted in other phases. This I what we refer to as specialization. We cannot expect to be good at everything, and we should not give into the call of compensation because of our lack of ability in other fields. No one is perfect, and we should keep that continually in mind. Compensation always starts when our mind incorrectly believes that we must acquire something to balance our lives.

Compensation will never truly save us or make us happy, as compensation is something that is a never ending process. We base all of our happiness quite often on compensation. One example is an older man buying a “hot” sports car in order to feel younger. Another common example that happens way too often is an older man dating a younger woman. None of these situations will change your current situation. Just because a person is older or makes minimum wage does not indicate there is something wrong or negative in our lives. Instead, it means that we are insecure about the life stage we are in. Insecurity happens to almost everyone on this planet. Insecurity happens because of a person’s need for structure and routine. Few can live in chaos succesfully.

Compensation is a common occurrence that is both incorrect and unneeded. We need to improve on our lives by focusing on our jobs, family, and friends and not try to gain some sort of counterbalance. We should not gain friends, family, and jobs because we are insecure. Instead, seek what you love in life. Stop compensating and start telling those who are in your life how much you care and love them.